Making the decision to separate or divorce is never easy. Whether things have been difficult for some time or the decision feels recent, it’s completely normal to feel uncertain about what to do next.
This guide is here to help you take those first steps with clarity and confidence.
1. Take time to understand your situation
Divorce is not just a legal process — it’s a major life change.
Before taking any formal steps, it’s important to:
- Reflect on your situation
- Consider your options
- Think about what you want moving forward
If possible, an open and calm conversation with your partner can help set a constructive tone, although this is not always appropriate or possible.
2. Get the right support around you
You don’t need to go through this alone.
Support could include:
- Family and friends
- A counsellor or therapist
- Professional advice from a solicitor
Having the right support in place early on can help you make clear, informed decisions.
3. Understand the basics of divorce
In England and Wales, divorce is now based on a “no-fault” system.
This means:
- You do not need to prove blame (such as adultery or behaviour)
- The only requirement is that the marriage has irretrievably broken down. .
You can apply:
- On your own (sole application), or
- Together with your spouse (joint application)
4. Check you are able to apply
Before starting the process, you need to confirm:
- You have been married for at least one year
- Your marriage is recognised in England or Wales
The courts here have jurisdiction (usually based on where you live.)
5. Start getting your finances together
Even at an early stage, it helps to have a basic understanding of your financial position.
Consider:
- Income and regular outgoings
- Savings and investments
- Property and mortgages
- Pensions
- Debts or liabilities
- Business interests and assets worth more than £500.
You don’t need a perfect picture — but a simple overview will help you feel more prepared for conversations and decisions.
6. Think about arrangements for children
If you have children, their wellbeing will always come first.
Early considerations include:
- Where they will live
- How often they will see each parent
- Schooling and day-to-day arrangements
These decisions don’t need to be finalised immediately, but it’s helpful to start thinking about what might work best.
7. Understand the legal process (in simple terms)
The divorce process generally follows these steps:
Step 1: Apply for divorce
Submit an application online or by post.
Step 2: Acknowledgement
Your spouse is notified and confirms they have received the application.
Step 3: Reflection period
There is a mandatory 20-week period to allow time for reflection and arrangements
Step 4: Conditional Order
The court confirms there is no legal reason the divorce cannot proceed.
Step 5: Final Order
The divorce is legally finalised.
It’s important to note: Divorce itself does not automatically deal with finances or arrangements for children, which must be agreed separately.
8. Speak to a family law specialist early
Many people wait until they feel “ready” — but early advice can be extremely helpful.
A first conversation can help you:
- Understand your rights and options
- Avoid costly mistakes
- Plan your next steps with confidence
Common questions at this stage
Do I have to go to court?
Not always. Many matters can be resolved by agreement or negotiation without attending court.
How long does divorce take?
Most divorces take several months due to built-in waiting periods in the process.
Do we need to agree everything before applying?
No. You can start the divorce process, but finances and child arrangements should be resolved alongside or before finalising the divorce.
Can we do this amicably?
Yes. The current process is designed to reduce conflict and help couples separate more constructively.
Final thought
Taking the first step can feel overwhelming, but you don’t need to have everything worked out from the beginning.
Start with a conversation.
Understand your options.
Then take things one step at a time.
Speak to our Family Law team
Start with a consultation with one of our family law experts.
Call us on 0191 568 2050 or email Rebecca.Cresswell@sweeneymiller.co.uk
Newcastle
Regent Centre,
Henry Street,
Gosforth,
Newcastle Upon Tyne,
NE3 3LS
Sunderland
Riverbank Road,
Sunderland,
SR5 3JJ
